You know I was at the zoo yesterday with the kids and when I got to the lions enclosure I had a spiritual epiphany. I said to myself “I really, really, really like lions”, then all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks! I realised there and then that I must be African. It came as a massive shock and surprise to me, but I guess on some level I suppose I’ve really always known. I come from a little known nation called ‘Liegeria’. Now I’ve never set foot on the place but I wrote it down on a piece of paper and cello taped my photograph beside it and it looks fantastic. It’s my new passport, going to try use it to ‘go home’ next week in the airport. RTÉ inspired me to just surrender myself to this new reality I’ve decided upon — purely from my own imagination — with their very inspirational, inclusive depiction of an ‘Irishman’ in the advert for their upcoming culture night. So I thought ”what the hell, might as well follow my heart”. If he can be me then surely the same applies in reverse. Or perhaps not? Going to Waltons tomorrow to buy a bongo drum just to cement my Liegiarianess, because no one will notice anything out of place if I do this.
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I've heard Liegeria is full though , not even one fkn hotel bed to spare 😂
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